So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize