Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
