can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
