Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
