Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
