so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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