$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
