he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
farters have to be the big spoon...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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