sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
