she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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