This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
