so that wasnt chicken after all
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
