She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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