I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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