tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
zippers are such a cool invention
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
