what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You brought string cheese to the strip club
not ubering you a puppy
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
