sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize