so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
