I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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