sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
