her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
