she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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