Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
