yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
