Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
