So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
