I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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