I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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