he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
