Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
