Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize