when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
