This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize