I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
