On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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