butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize