wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
