oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
