I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
