You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just tell him i said nine months
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
