TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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