I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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