Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
