Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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