We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
bring money and cleavage
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
