Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
