I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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