im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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