There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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