no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize