I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
