At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
