we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
