can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
