Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
