I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
