Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
