is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
