and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
