He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
