You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
