This is not my ceiling
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
