And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
