i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
