didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
