he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize