Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
