My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize