Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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