I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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