I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
