I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
