I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
