I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize