It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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